Before you can change your attitude, you have to change your thinking habits. Seems like it should be easy, doesn't it? Yet every time you think about going into a meeting, you get that pit in your stomach; every time you talk to a certain person, you walk away irritated; and when you go home at night, you roll your eyes and think, I'm tired and the family is going to want all my attention. Before you have one more thought, stop and ask yourself why you are thinking about a situation in such a negative way? Awareness is the key to changing an unproductive thinking habit.
I worked with a gentleman who would joke and say, "Are the voices in my head bothering you too?" No one knows what you are thinking but you. People can provide the suggestion for you to think in a more positive way, but you are the only one with the control of your thoughts. One result of positive thinking is the inevitable expectation of joy, happiness, and a good outcome. Whoever went to Disneyland as a child and told themselves that they would have a bad time? As children the traffic only built up the excitement, the cost of admittance was not a concern, and the negatives of the large crowd became a catalyst for excitement! Children shared their positive thoughts about the good time they were going to have and most parents sustained those ideas.
As adults we have difficulty ignoring the traffic and we dread the drive to Anaheim. We know the costs of admittance and extras will be a burden, and we might carry those negative thoughts with us as we embark on our Disneyland journey. Clearly both positive and negative thoughts are contagious, and we can quickly dampen or elevate the adventure for those around us.
Changing our thinking habits does not happen overnight as it takes energy, time and patience. Whenever we recognize a negative thought, we need to replace that thought with a positive one.
Negative Thought
Positive Thought
Great, it's dreary and cold outside
Great, I relax, start the fireplace and read that new book
There's Joe, he is going to want to talk about potential project problems
There's Joe, I have to let him know that we may be able to finish the project early
I hate my job and don't make enough money to live
Maybe it is time for me to see if my skills qualify me for a job that makes more money!
I hate the way I look
I want to look and feel better so I think I will exercise more often
I feel so overwhelmed by all the work I have to do
I will complete one large and one small task today and work on scaling down my list of "to do's"
It is within our power to decide if we are going to let a negative thought control our emotions by giving it more attention. When we feel good and happy, we cherish the thoughts and want all of our life to be in this happy state. But often life is filled with events that are not to our liking and we have to go on. How we react to the negative events in life is our personal choice. We can decide to think negative thoughts and feel bad, depressed, tired, angry, etc. Or we can become aware our negative thoughts and start thinking in a more positive manner.
Our mind never ceases its constant activity. We have thoughts all day and all night often linked to recent events, contact with people or stress. We can learn to control our thoughts and bring peace and harmony to our lives but it takes practice. Being gentle with oneself is a common mantra. Positive thinking won't happen overnight or because you "will it" to happen. It will happen when you give yourself permission to be kind to yourself whether the thoughts you are having at the moment are positive or negative. We are on a journey seeking a measure of happiness and contentment. Our thoughts can get us there if are aware of them. With each thought you have a choice, negative or positive. Choose the positive and reap the rewards...
