Even though most people in the business world recognize the value and importance of networking to build relationships, bring in business, get a better job and more, many are reluctant to actually do it. Oh they may show up at the events, but they don't want to be there and their networking results are usually less than successful. For them, the best part of the event is leaving when it's over!

If you are one of these less than enthusiastic networkers, I'm guessing it's because meeting all those strangers, making small talk and trying to turn them into clients puts your stress level into the stratosphere! If that describes you, let me give you a technique that will take the pressure off and help you actually enjoy the events.

Simply give yourself permission to forget about what people can do for you, your career or your business, and focus instead on what you can do for them as human beings.

Networking events are part business, part social. As you meet and greet people, release the usual mindset of seeing people as potential clients or employers. See them instead as interesting people you want to get to know. How do you get to know someone? Ask questions, and listen to the answers!

As people talk to you about themselves and their lives, be aware of how you might be of value to them. For example, if I meet someone who is going on vacation to my native Scotland for the first time, I can offer interesting facts and suggestions on places to visit. If someone happens to mention that he or she is diabetic, I might tell them about a website where they can find great free diabetic dessert recipes. If I meet a Spanish speaking person, I might practice my very rusty Spanish - at least it will give them a laugh!

I'm not looking for immediate payoff in these exchanges. But they could be the first step in building relationships, and more good comes from relationships than any other aspect of business, or perhaps even life.

Here's my suggestion. Try this different way of "working a room" a few times. After the event is over, notice how you feel about it. Did you actually enjoy it? Did you meet some great people? Are you perhaps even looking forward to the next one? I predict you'll enjoy the events more than ever, and you might well make this your networking style for the future.