There are often times in life where we feel that we receive poor service or treatment from others. There may be times in shops, restaurants or even with friends or members of our family - times when we feel the need to pass on our dissatisfaction and look to improve matters or get some redress. The techniques are similar, whomever we are complaining to.

For a business owner receiving feedback from dissatisfied customers and end users is an important part of any business trading operation. All business owners say that they would rather hear about a customers' bad experience directly rather than have the customer walk away dissatisfied or bad mouth them to other potential customers. If the complainant walks away they firstly lose a customer and secondly any of the people who hear of their experience.

By listening to comments from customers in a receptive way a business gets a sense of how they are seen to be performing in the market place. They can hopefully use the feedback to identify any part of the business that is not performing too well or that needs to be improved in some way. This is why many service providers invite customers to fill in comments cards and rate aspects of their business. It is a way of keeping in touch with their actual marketplace. Some feel that it is worth giving an inducement, a free raffle entry or a discount card in order to obtain this information.

Many business owners see their business from the opposite end of the spectrum to their customers. They are looking at the efficiency of stock allocation, production, profitability, menus from the administration and management perspective. This is why within some of the biggest operators in retail, the Chief Executives and board members often visit their stores, look at the layout, chat to the shop floor staff. They want to learn how things run for their customers and customer facing staff. They encourage feedback and know that this is the best way to get it.

So, how to complain?

- Start by being calm, identify the problem, how you feel about it and what your expectations are for the resolution. Starting in a calm way gives the other person the opportunity to become acquainted with the facts. They may be unaware of the problem, or see it from a completely different viewpoint. They may have information of which you are unaware. Staying calm gives the opportunity for a conversation to occur.

- If there is an on-going issue then keep a diary or a log. Evidence of poor performance or bad behaviour may be needed so dates, times and maybe witnesses reinforce your argument and your claim. Receipts of any purchases or proof of money spent is also important.

- Be polite, firm and calm. If you are annoyed then it is often better to wait until you are in a calmer frame of mind. Venting anger may feel like the right choice at the time but no one really benefits in terms of resolution or constructive outcome. The person being shouted at may not know all the details or may become defensive at being treated in that way. But be firm. If you have a valid point you are entitled to be treated appropriately and have the situation made right, to a reasonable standard.

- Ensure that you are complaining to the right person. There is nothing more frustrating that detailing your various issues only to have to repeat it again to another more relevant person. Identify that you are speaking to a person who has the authority to deal with you and your problem.

- Decide on a realistic outcome. What do you want to achieve by complaining. Do you simply want them to know and acknowledge what has happened to you or are you looking for a refund, an exchange, compensation? Decide what you want as an end result before starting the complaint.

- Be fair. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has to learn to do their job. Is it really such a heinous crime or have you just had a bad day and are wanting to pass it on?

- Be prepared to compromise. Do you want to use this business again or is that relationship effectively over. Compromise means that everyone achieves a result from the situation.

By learning to complain with mutual consideration and respect both parties come away from the dispute feeling that it is a fair and satisfactory outcome.